So this Christmas I went to spend Christmas Eve with my family. Typically, I just spend it with my Mum, Daddy, and Bro. This time I went to spend it with my Aunty, her sons, their wives, their kids, my Aunt's Husband, and my cousin Melo-Berry. This is the first time, in a very long time, I sucked it up and went to spend any of my Christmas holidays with that side of my family.
Don't get the wrong idea. I love them to pieces. I just prefer to love them individually as I find being with them all at the same time to be a bit chaotic and slightly intimidating. The noise, the questions from nosy Aunts, Uncles who have no real idea what I have been up to or what really interests me...Cousins who are scared to ask questions..I just try to avoid the whole "I do want to talk to you but I can't ask the things I want because then you'll ask me questions and I'm not ready for everyone to discuss my life yet" hahahaha All family's are neurotic and slightly psychotic hahaha I love my family. Their interest in my life shows me that I am important enough for them to want to know what I'm up to or what I'm not up to - it depends on who's asking.
This Christmas season I have been really nostalgic for bygone Christmases. For days long put to rest. For caroling with my Mama. For days having tea or hot apple cider with family while playing 31. For small skirmishes on the rink over the puck. For peeling potatoes listening to my Aunts plan their attack on the Uncles to make them do the dishes this year. For building snow forts with my Mama and skating with my Mum. For sliding with my cousins and the magic of hot chocolate and marshmallows. I miss the little miracles that made Christmas so utterly magical. The sad part is...after my Mama died...Christmas lost all of its magic.
There has no been no real magical moment in a Christmas season till tonight...we should have really crashed tonight. We drive through ice, sleet, slush...we lost traction...all kinds of scary things happened but all I could think about was Mama. I didn't even realize I've been humming one of her favorite Christmas songs all day till my cousin pointed it out at supper. Mama has been on my mind a lot lately. Then in the middle of the drive, my Mum (who's not in the least bit religious) says "I'm not worried anymore. I know our guardian angel is with us Jule" and just like that...the road conditions slowly started to get better. Strange how things like that happen...I know the roads were probably going to get better but right now...I want to believe Mama was with us. That she has been with all of us this Christmas. Maybe not in the magical way we were used too but I don't know...this was the first time I seen my family make a snowman in years. Or my cousins pull their Mum in a sled hahaha It just felt...a lil magical <3 Maybe that's what was wrong with us...we concentrated so much on what was magical about things long past that we forgot we possessed our own magic :)
So...it reminds me of the time I told my Mama "Grandma...do you think that it's better to give hugs or gifts? Because I can give lots of hugs and to everyone I want. But I'm too little to buy lots of gifts for everyone I see at Christmas..." and I guess I've known since I was a kid. Christmas is the magical feeling you get in your heart that makes you want to hug everyone. As my Mama told me after I asked that question "The gift never really matters. What matters is that it comes from the heart"
So...from my heart...I wish you all a very Merry Christmas <3
Wednesday, 24 December 2014
Saturday, 20 December 2014
Julia on Changing...
So...This is what I decided to do last couple of months after wishing for things to change.
Change is awful. It's usually for the best but the awful part is getting through the FIRST part where everything that can go wrong, goes wrong and it blows up in your face and you get sooo discouraged over it...and then overwhelmed because even if a small part of you is changing, just that small part - EVERYTHING CHANGES!
I don't hang out with people I used to. We still talk once in awhile but I don't go out of my way anymore and because I don't - it's a lil awkward now. I feel awkward because I don't put as much effort and it's worse because I don't feel bad about it anymore. We grew, but ended up growing a part. With some, our outlooks on life create too much friction. With others, our lifestyles don't mesh anymore. With the rests, it's like we don't fit in each others lives anymore. It happens. Because it happens does not make it a horrible or bad thing. I'm proud that we all grow and find happiness and joy in our own ways :D I still love and care for them but...right now, I'm changing.
Changing makes me feel a lil vulnerable because I'm still getting used to it. Hell, I don't eat the same things, so now I have "Company's Coming" cookbooks just taking up space. My Celiacs has me gluten-free FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. This limits what I can or can't do. Reiterating this to people who say they know me is weird because it's the same people who profess to NEVER forget anything hahahaha But such is life. I just have no idea what to do with all the box. Writing in the books feels like desecration. I love books. Books are vacations I take, with the most amazingly fascinating people, and I am always in enthralled by the world those people live in. Even though it's just a cookbook...I won't write in it. Still feels wrong hahaha So I'll just have to figure out how to augment the recipes to reflect how I have to live this aspect of my life.
Changing how I treat myself and those I share my life with has altered how I pick out jewelry hahaha It was a surprise! My outlook has changed even the earrings I wear now. I have earrings I would never have pictured me wearing and now I'm more conservative in what I wear. I'm sure summer will come and I will brighten up but...it's such a bizzare aspect to change...my taste in necklaces and earrings.
I started changing after a few of my friends wondered why I was just accepting so much bullshit when I never used to before. I would raise hell if someone treated me like that or said those things to me or whatever. They pointed out all the times this other person broke their word and the other times the other one stood me up. Or how I serial dated. It was a lifestyle I left behind because it WAS A BAD HABIT! I'm glad I'm blessed enough to have the same friends that are close to me as I was to them when I went through those changes. When I started becoming more assertive and sure in myself. I honestly had no idea how much of me eroded away.
It was just a small thing to change...once I remembered "Hey...I never used to have a wishbone. I always had a backbone. When the hell did I start accepting this passive and sedentary lifestyle?" I used to travel all over the place by myself. I would just buy a ticket, hop a bus or plane, and go. ALONE. I would explore the world around me and be fascinated with it. I would question things. I wasn't nervous about crowds or wearing a sleeveless shirt. Or worried enough to bring three different types of shoes (just in case). My self-esteem and sense of self-worth took a hit I wasn't totally aware of it happening. But, once I was made aware, I started to fix it. I won't be who I was before but at the core...I'm always Julia. I am still a giggler. I still obsess over chocolate. I still love tequila. I still sing off-key and I still love to love and be loved :D hahahaha Cute and cuddly is still my kryptonite :D
and...then I started doing :) and now...I'm onto my next stage in heading towards my own personal and professional goals. <3
Change is awful. It's usually for the best but the awful part is getting through the FIRST part where everything that can go wrong, goes wrong and it blows up in your face and you get sooo discouraged over it...and then overwhelmed because even if a small part of you is changing, just that small part - EVERYTHING CHANGES!
I don't hang out with people I used to. We still talk once in awhile but I don't go out of my way anymore and because I don't - it's a lil awkward now. I feel awkward because I don't put as much effort and it's worse because I don't feel bad about it anymore. We grew, but ended up growing a part. With some, our outlooks on life create too much friction. With others, our lifestyles don't mesh anymore. With the rests, it's like we don't fit in each others lives anymore. It happens. Because it happens does not make it a horrible or bad thing. I'm proud that we all grow and find happiness and joy in our own ways :D I still love and care for them but...right now, I'm changing.
Changing makes me feel a lil vulnerable because I'm still getting used to it. Hell, I don't eat the same things, so now I have "Company's Coming" cookbooks just taking up space. My Celiacs has me gluten-free FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. This limits what I can or can't do. Reiterating this to people who say they know me is weird because it's the same people who profess to NEVER forget anything hahahaha But such is life. I just have no idea what to do with all the box. Writing in the books feels like desecration. I love books. Books are vacations I take, with the most amazingly fascinating people, and I am always in enthralled by the world those people live in. Even though it's just a cookbook...I won't write in it. Still feels wrong hahaha So I'll just have to figure out how to augment the recipes to reflect how I have to live this aspect of my life.
Changing how I treat myself and those I share my life with has altered how I pick out jewelry hahaha It was a surprise! My outlook has changed even the earrings I wear now. I have earrings I would never have pictured me wearing and now I'm more conservative in what I wear. I'm sure summer will come and I will brighten up but...it's such a bizzare aspect to change...my taste in necklaces and earrings.
I started changing after a few of my friends wondered why I was just accepting so much bullshit when I never used to before. I would raise hell if someone treated me like that or said those things to me or whatever. They pointed out all the times this other person broke their word and the other times the other one stood me up. Or how I serial dated. It was a lifestyle I left behind because it WAS A BAD HABIT! I'm glad I'm blessed enough to have the same friends that are close to me as I was to them when I went through those changes. When I started becoming more assertive and sure in myself. I honestly had no idea how much of me eroded away.
It was just a small thing to change...once I remembered "Hey...I never used to have a wishbone. I always had a backbone. When the hell did I start accepting this passive and sedentary lifestyle?" I used to travel all over the place by myself. I would just buy a ticket, hop a bus or plane, and go. ALONE. I would explore the world around me and be fascinated with it. I would question things. I wasn't nervous about crowds or wearing a sleeveless shirt. Or worried enough to bring three different types of shoes (just in case). My self-esteem and sense of self-worth took a hit I wasn't totally aware of it happening. But, once I was made aware, I started to fix it. I won't be who I was before but at the core...I'm always Julia. I am still a giggler. I still obsess over chocolate. I still love tequila. I still sing off-key and I still love to love and be loved :D hahahaha Cute and cuddly is still my kryptonite :D
and...then I started doing :) and now...I'm onto my next stage in heading towards my own personal and professional goals. <3
Wednesday, 17 December 2014
My First Grey Hair...
So today I found my first grey hair on my head of black luscious locks...and typical Julianess happened...I got super excited about it and had to tell the entire world about it hahahaha
I once told my Mama (Grandma) that I wanted to have grey hair like her and that someday I wanted to be all grey. She used to call her grey hairs Mark, Debra, Velma, Patsy, JJ, Amyjo, Lanny and Julianna. hahaha Those ones were her worry hairs. The rest were her wisdom ones. I may have shed a few tears over the memories I have because I miss her and this was her favorite time of year. But this single grey hair reminds me of how she is always a part of me. It reminds me of how we both agreed that my grey hairs will be well earned hahaha Even if she would have laughed at how excited I am about this one hair...I miss her incredibly.
Since my Mama passed away in 2005 I have missed her presence since then. Nothing compares to her words or how comforting simply holding her hand was and how much Sunday tea meant. Having this grey hair and it being my first just reminds me that she is not going to be physically here to share in all of my firsts. She won't be here if I ever decided to get institutionalized (married hahaha), or when I adopt my first child, or when I finally decide to cave in a get a new car. She won't be here when I finish University. She'll be looking down though. I have to believe that I will meet her again. I need to believe in it.
I just really miss her...
Beyond my lonesomeness...I've been super busy with work. No rest for the wicked but in my case it's more like "No rest for the employed" hahahaha So my writing of this blog took a back seat to everything. I'll try to update something tomorrow but I make no promises. I really dont wanna see a monitor after spending 8 hours looking at one :/
Oh yeah! I wanted to share one of two cute lil handsome bandits I spent my evening with yesterday. This is Keshon sharing with his God Mother (That's me) hahaha I wanted the candy he had in his other hand and he gave me his pacifier hahahaha
I once told my Mama (Grandma) that I wanted to have grey hair like her and that someday I wanted to be all grey. She used to call her grey hairs Mark, Debra, Velma, Patsy, JJ, Amyjo, Lanny and Julianna. hahaha Those ones were her worry hairs. The rest were her wisdom ones. I may have shed a few tears over the memories I have because I miss her and this was her favorite time of year. But this single grey hair reminds me of how she is always a part of me. It reminds me of how we both agreed that my grey hairs will be well earned hahaha Even if she would have laughed at how excited I am about this one hair...I miss her incredibly.
Since my Mama passed away in 2005 I have missed her presence since then. Nothing compares to her words or how comforting simply holding her hand was and how much Sunday tea meant. Having this grey hair and it being my first just reminds me that she is not going to be physically here to share in all of my firsts. She won't be here if I ever decided to get institutionalized (married hahaha), or when I adopt my first child, or when I finally decide to cave in a get a new car. She won't be here when I finish University. She'll be looking down though. I have to believe that I will meet her again. I need to believe in it.
I just really miss her...
Beyond my lonesomeness...I've been super busy with work. No rest for the wicked but in my case it's more like "No rest for the employed" hahahaha So my writing of this blog took a back seat to everything. I'll try to update something tomorrow but I make no promises. I really dont wanna see a monitor after spending 8 hours looking at one :/
Oh yeah! I wanted to share one of two cute lil handsome bandits I spent my evening with yesterday. This is Keshon sharing with his God Mother (That's me) hahaha I wanted the candy he had in his other hand and he gave me his pacifier hahahaha
Thursday, 11 December 2014
Crazy Cat Lady...and dental care
So, I am pretty much certain I have become that crazy cat lady. :/ The following are reasons why I am THAT crazy cat lady who's single and lives with her parents:
1) I have pictures of cats on my camera roll and in my saved pictures (this is true!)
2) I talk to my cats and they talk back (don't judge me!!!)
3) I am pretty sure Loki and Kaze talk about me when I am not around and while Kaze fears my rule...Loki knows enough to come suck up to me hahahaha
4) I am convinced my cat is the smartest cat in the world. Loki tries to open doors. (she literally jumps and tries to take hold of the knob)
5) I chase them around the house to play with them hahaha!!!
6) Kaze, while being a lil terrified of my feet...enjoy laying on them (as seen above)
7) My cats know they are cool...lol
Also...my obsession with teeth continues hahaha
I stood in the aisle and wasn't going to move till I found the right toothpaste for me. Besides the fact it has to be gluten free, I also wanted one that would whiten my teeth or build my enamel. I ended up talking with this guy about tooth decay and how I am a firm believer in how you only brush the ones you want to keep hahaha So, we exchanged numbers (I have no idea how this happened!!!) and I send him a video I had made for a friend of mine hahaha Here is the video and it's a few seconds (I look a lil bit like a munster in it) but I believe I got my message across:
1) I have pictures of cats on my camera roll and in my saved pictures (this is true!)
2) I talk to my cats and they talk back (don't judge me!!!)
3) I am pretty sure Loki and Kaze talk about me when I am not around and while Kaze fears my rule...Loki knows enough to come suck up to me hahahaha
4) I am convinced my cat is the smartest cat in the world. Loki tries to open doors. (she literally jumps and tries to take hold of the knob)
5) I chase them around the house to play with them hahaha!!!
6) Kaze, while being a lil terrified of my feet...enjoy laying on them (as seen above)
7) My cats know they are cool...lol
Also...my obsession with teeth continues hahaha
I stood in the aisle and wasn't going to move till I found the right toothpaste for me. Besides the fact it has to be gluten free, I also wanted one that would whiten my teeth or build my enamel. I ended up talking with this guy about tooth decay and how I am a firm believer in how you only brush the ones you want to keep hahaha So, we exchanged numbers (I have no idea how this happened!!!) and I send him a video I had made for a friend of mine hahaha Here is the video and it's a few seconds (I look a lil bit like a munster in it) but I believe I got my message across:
and then I sent this picture:
Sunday, 7 December 2014
FB Status Messages from the vault hahaha
So, I mined these babies for whomever is reading this...well..this week hahaha Sorry it's late. I had a very handsome distraction. I almost completely forgot I had these prepared. MMMM...a sinfully delicious distraction hahaha ;) You know me...
writes
to her buddy " ...and then I just had to open my mouth and utter
the most dreaded words you can in a room of
marriage-happy-people...'maybe someday I'd get married but right
now Im content with being single...' and then I got scared. It was
like they all turned into the Children of the Corn on me and I was
about to turn 18..." — 
feeling scared.
feeling scared.
"I'm
so grossed out by the thought of someone trying to sell a preowned
dildo" – me to Kris
That's
what ya call a sister haha about to crash out and she shows up with
whiskey. Sweeeetos! —
with Julia
Polson.
had
a creepy horror movie moment where I was going down the stairs into
the basement without turning the lights on and thought to myself "if
this was a horror movie...I'd be that dumb chick everyone would be
shouting at or shaking their head at or going 'she's dead'" lol
bwahahaha!!!
Lady: Roi de la Patate bon soir!
Me: hey! Id like to place an order for (my address)..
Lady: ok..
Me: *silence*....
Me: uhhh...
Lady: *laughing*
Me: Sorry! Was distracted by a sexy looking half naked man..dan you Joshua Jackson you sexy bastard!
Lady: *laughs harder and louder*
Me: *laughing* too bad I cant order him...
----- I eventually placed my order hahaha
Lady: Roi de la Patate bon soir!
Me: hey! Id like to place an order for (my address)..
Lady: ok..
Me: *silence*....
Me: uhhh...
Lady: *laughing*
Me: Sorry! Was distracted by a sexy looking half naked man..dan you Joshua Jackson you sexy bastard!
Lady: *laughs harder and louder*
Me: *laughing* too bad I cant order him...
----- I eventually placed my order hahaha
Hahaha
Me: *looks at pic ex sent* no way that's your hand
Ex: Hahahaha that's my hand
Me: It looks so feminine and pretty...
Ex: manicure and I am pretty
Me: *sent pic of my nails* those beasts are lived in. and you are pretty alright..pretty much the same person I left 8 years ago.
Ex: Now, now. No reason to be nasty. You are pretty too.
Me: You still only absorb what you want to...
Ex: You'll come back to me someday.
Me: Still a conceited guy...full of yourself and you are so sure of everything just because you think you still know how to manipulate me.
Ex: I've changed. I wouldn't abuse your trust anymore or do the whole serial dialing thing.
Me: I don't believe you. You are creepy. Like serial stalker creepy. How did you even get this number?
Ex: Patrice
Me: From where I used to work?
Ex: No. The guy you said made amazing pancakes.
Me: ????
Ex: You met him that time I left you at the Waddling Duck because you didn't want to take your vacation time with me.
Me: Oh yeah! That's the time you ditched me on our anniversary and you only realized after you left that I had the house keys, a dead cell, AND both of our bank cards hahaha serves you right asshole!
Ex: Well...either way he gave me the number.
Me: *looks at pic ex sent* no way that's your hand
Ex: Hahahaha that's my hand
Me: It looks so feminine and pretty...
Ex: manicure and I am pretty
Me: *sent pic of my nails* those beasts are lived in. and you are pretty alright..pretty much the same person I left 8 years ago.
Ex: Now, now. No reason to be nasty. You are pretty too.
Me: You still only absorb what you want to...
Ex: You'll come back to me someday.
Me: Still a conceited guy...full of yourself and you are so sure of everything just because you think you still know how to manipulate me.
Ex: I've changed. I wouldn't abuse your trust anymore or do the whole serial dialing thing.
Me: I don't believe you. You are creepy. Like serial stalker creepy. How did you even get this number?
Ex: Patrice
Me: From where I used to work?
Ex: No. The guy you said made amazing pancakes.
Me: ????
Ex: You met him that time I left you at the Waddling Duck because you didn't want to take your vacation time with me.
Me: Oh yeah! That's the time you ditched me on our anniversary and you only realized after you left that I had the house keys, a dead cell, AND both of our bank cards hahaha serves you right asshole!
Ex: Well...either way he gave me the number.
Me:
I still don't get how you thought pancakes was code for sex. I
mean...Alan made me pancakes and I never had sex with him or anything
hahaha
Ex: Yes well...You are beautiful with the most amazing eyes... it!
Me: I'm still never getting back together with you.
Ex: Fuck!
hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Ex: Yes well...You are beautiful with the most amazing eyes... it!
Me: I'm still never getting back together with you.
Ex: Fuck!
hahahahahahahaha!!!!
hahahaha!
Me: Holy eff! Brrr...Brrr...Brrr
Brent: Cold enough for ya? hahaha
Me: YES! Shit man...I think my lungs hurt from being frost bitten
Me: Holy eff! Brrr...Brrr...Brrr
Brent: Cold enough for ya? hahaha
Me: YES! Shit man...I think my lungs hurt from being frost bitten
Hahahaha
Me: what?
Him: did you just touch my ass?
Me: no *all disgusted* it was her.
Tanya: It's a nice ass.
Me: Meh...I've seen better....
Hahahahaha didn't mean to say that out loud and to the guys face lol
Me: what?
Him: did you just touch my ass?
Me: no *all disgusted* it was her.
Tanya: It's a nice ass.
Me: Meh...I've seen better....
Hahahahaha didn't mean to say that out loud and to the guys face lol
Krissy:
I live up the hill
Julia:
Ya dont drink like it hahaha
Hahahaha
Alex: You never did answer me about who took that picture...
Me: (all absent minded) what picture?
Alex: Baby girl that sounds like you are full of yourself.
Me: I am. I am very much full of myself. If I was full of anybody else I would be a cannibal. *turns page* what picture?
Alex: Nevermind. You're in one of those moods.
Me: Ok. Talk to you later. Bye.
Hahaha
Alex: You never did answer me about who took that picture...
Me: (all absent minded) what picture?
Alex: Baby girl that sounds like you are full of yourself.
Me: I am. I am very much full of myself. If I was full of anybody else I would be a cannibal. *turns page* what picture?
Alex: Nevermind. You're in one of those moods.
Me: Ok. Talk to you later. Bye.
Hahaha
Me:
The heart wants what it wants and its just that sometimes it wants
stupid people..
Nina: hahahahababa
Nina: hahahahababa
Random
Moments of my night: falling off a swivel chair, being asked
(repeatedly) to move to Nunavut, asking some guy if I could keep him,
being carded because I look 21, being asked by the cab driver if I
was looking for a hookup (and telling him I was just looking for a
store to buy chips), annnnd going to a store in my pjs for ginger ale
because I knew I'd need it today (along with tums).
Me:
Just because I'm brown doesn't mean I will hurt you. I'm nice and
cute.
The Server: hahahahababaha
The Server: hahahahababaha
Stick: The devil man walks real fast
Nomi: My Grandma says that he is a good dancer.
Me: My Grandma says that too.
Nomi: We have the same Grandma nerd!
Me: Oh yeah! hahahaha
----- maybe celebrating a lil too much hahahahahahaha
Nomi: My Grandma says that he is a good dancer.
Me: My Grandma says that too.
Nomi: We have the same Grandma nerd!
Me: Oh yeah! hahahaha
----- maybe celebrating a lil too much hahahahahahaha
hahahaha
Earlier this evening...
Me: *waaaaaazzzzaaaapppp!
Ben: *shouting just as loud as me* are you ready to rock!!!!!!
Me: yeah!
Ben: are you ready!!!!!
Me: I'm ready to rock!!
Ben: me too wanna rock...
Nina comes back to the truck..
Ben: Moms back now.
Me: Are you ready to rock?
Ben: Mommy is back now.
Hahahahahaha friggen kid man
Earlier this evening...
Me: *waaaaaazzzzaaaapppp!
Ben: *shouting just as loud as me* are you ready to rock!!!!!!
Me: yeah!
Ben: are you ready!!!!!
Me: I'm ready to rock!!
Ben: me too wanna rock...
Nina comes back to the truck..
Ben: Moms back now.
Me: Are you ready to rock?
Ben: Mommy is back now.
Hahahahahaha friggen kid man
Nick:
*smirk* would you like some coffee to with this water?
Me: I need coffee just to make good coffee *hangs head*
Nick just laughs
Me: *head in my hands* so it's going to be one of those days...
Me: I need coffee just to make good coffee *hangs head*
Nick just laughs
Me: *head in my hands* so it's going to be one of those days...
heeheehee
Me: I said no.
Jansen: Why not?
Me: Because I said so.
Jansen: You do realize that isn't an answer.
Me: It's an answer now.
Jansen: *smiling* you're just grumpy because I woke you up.
Me: I'm not grumpy. It's moments like this that make me wish you didn't know my numbers...
Jansen: awe..come on. Despite how crabby you are about something or someone waking you up when your tired, I happen to think you're beautiful...even when you are trying to glare me to death.
Me: my answer is still no.
Jansen: shit!
Hahahahaha
Me: I said no.
Jansen: Why not?
Me: Because I said so.
Jansen: You do realize that isn't an answer.
Me: It's an answer now.
Jansen: *smiling* you're just grumpy because I woke you up.
Me: I'm not grumpy. It's moments like this that make me wish you didn't know my numbers...
Jansen: awe..come on. Despite how crabby you are about something or someone waking you up when your tired, I happen to think you're beautiful...even when you are trying to glare me to death.
Me: my answer is still no.
Jansen: shit!
Hahahahaha
Bwahahahaha!!!!
Me: I don't know what you mean by dry humping?! Why the fuck aren't they using lube?!!!!! I don't get it...*confused*
Everyone else laughed
Me: I don't know what you mean by dry humping?! Why the fuck aren't they using lube?!!!!! I don't get it...*confused*
Everyone else laughed
hahahahaha
Ben: Spiderman!
Me: So you're Spiderman? Well...I guess I'll be Batman.
Ben: Ya! You're Batman!
Me: So what is your Mom?
Ben: She's funny.
Heeheehee
Ben: Spiderman!
Me: So you're Spiderman? Well...I guess I'll be Batman.
Ben: Ya! You're Batman!
Me: So what is your Mom?
Ben: She's funny.
Heeheehee
Well...Tylenol
then I'm gonna do what my cute handsome godson says...brush my
teeth,wash my face, look cute today
hahahaha!!!!
Me:*nonchalant* Our plane crashed, we got no food...well...unless you count the pilot whom we'll call George.
Me:*nonchalant* Our plane crashed, we got no food...well...unless you count the pilot whom we'll call George.
*Buddy facepalms*
Hahaha
throw back Thursday rewind memory moment...
Me: check him out!! He's so friggin sexy....
Nick: Whoa there Julia! Calm your tits...hahaha
Me: *grabs tits* can't calm these babies...they go wild over him..just look at how rugged he is *drools*
Nick: You really do have a thing for tall guys...
Me: check him out!! He's so friggin sexy....
Nick: Whoa there Julia! Calm your tits...hahaha
Me: *grabs tits* can't calm these babies...they go wild over him..just look at how rugged he is *drools*
Nick: You really do have a thing for tall guys...
Hahahahahaha
Hahahaha
Elena: eewwwww!!!!
Me: What's eewww?
Elena: A boy and girl kissing. I never kissed a boy.
Me: I'd hope not. You're too young for that...and you might get cooties.
Elena: What's that?
Me: Some thing you only get from boys. Unless you had your cootie shot. Did you want a cootie shot just in case?
Elena nods
Me: criss cross polka dot now you have your cootie shot.
Elena: kissing boys are still gross...
Elena: eewwwww!!!!
Me: What's eewww?
Elena: A boy and girl kissing. I never kissed a boy.
Me: I'd hope not. You're too young for that...and you might get cooties.
Elena: What's that?
Me: Some thing you only get from boys. Unless you had your cootie shot. Did you want a cootie shot just in case?
Elena nods
Me: criss cross polka dot now you have your cootie shot.
Elena: kissing boys are still gross...
Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Wednesday, 3 December 2014
The Politics of Life...and a Turkey...and Social Media...and Easily Bruised Egos
So, I almost had a big problem. My mouth ran away with me before I could stop voicing my opinion the other day. My opinion was pretty loud and I am without shame. I would rather eat my own vomit than retract what I said. If they don't like it - tough. Having an opinion is part of my rights as a human being...but apparently if my opinion bruises an ego that rests high upon that mountain of bureaucratic bullshit...It can bite you in the ass. Bite away! I'm native...the type of native with a LONG BACK which translates to NO ASS. So good ahead...try to take a bite hahahaha Dummy!
Someone out there in the great universe of cyber space (which is apparently vast and infinite) has decided that I needed a slap on the hand. Well hello to you too Private Person Of Questionable Courage!! If you want to complain about me, leave your name, your number and a brief message and I will be sure to return your call if there is some actual substance to it. Regardless, I'm actually very careful about what I post and when I post it on my Facebook, Twitter, etc. I can write about my clitoris and orgasms all I want but mention anything about politics, research etc and I basically f--ed myself in the bumholey-oh without lube...OUCH!!
To be quite honest, I do not live my life with the word "Politics" in my mind every day. When I spend time with my family it's not where I think about politics. When I go to do my job, it's not with them (the politicians and bureaucrats) in mind. It's with the conviction that I will be doing the best that I can for the PEOPLE I work with and for. I don't really care that you make more than me (I'm a cynical and jaded beyotch who probably already assumes you do anyways) or that you have all this "power" or who you are voting for. It doesn't really bother me because I AM NOT MY JOB and POLITICS is not my job. Sure, everything in life might be political but I guess I am deep in denial right now. Even the politics of food is insane...
For example, I mentioned this in passing today..."I miss buying a butterball. I think I'm going to grab me one of those for the good ol'Christ-masses a la maison" and BAAAAMM! The words GMO and Organic and, even, growing my own turkey (seriously, I'd pay someone to do that!) come to mind. Honestly, if you are going to judge me over a turkey, it's a good thing I didn't mention my stance on birth control or vaccines. Holy Jumpin Jalapenos Bat Baby!! You think I just said "Why yes young lady...I not only fry children's kidneys to go with my GMO basmati rice, I am also an agent for Satan but please..keep in mind that my duties are largely ceremonial." After explaining that just because someone does something a certain way or wants to a damn turkey (okay, so maybe saying damn wasn't a good thing but what the hell...I could have swore! Lesser of evils people!) that they shouldn't be judged as being a part of corporate America. Last I checked...we lived in Canada. 0_0 Unless I have my geography wrong or am taking things a lil too literal.
Regardless, I never got to explain to Miss Planetery that we DO buy from local turkey growing people who assure ME that they only feed the turkeys grain/corn they grow themselves. Then BAM! Slapped with all this PAPER information regarding all the additives in this and that...I tried to care for all of 30 seconds but to be honest, and candid, it was just taking up my time. It took every fiber of my being to not respond with a quick "Why hello Miss Planetery. How nice of how to destroy 20% of the boreal forest in order for you to tell me GMO's are ruining my life." I have better things to do with my time than listen to someone tell me about why I am going to get cancer from my turkey. Or a brain tumor from Wi-Fi. Or maybe even eye cancer from my contact lenses. I don't know. Just seems to me that everyone can get cancer from everything. Has it ever occurred to all these cancer-sayers that maybe we ALL carry the possibility of activating our cancer causing cells? So maybe eating my turkey might be the catalyst for getting cancer...but it's going to be sinfully delicious first! hahaha ;)
Facebook and Twitter...holy eff! I'm sorry at times I ever joined you if it means I could get in trouble for writing "VOTE NDP" or "VOTE LIBERAL" or "VOTE FOR SPONGEBOB!!!!" Seriously now...since when does whomever I vote for...or my own opinion make it the opinion of whomever I have worked for in the past. Unless I worked for the NDP and wanted to vote for Spongebob. Then it might be an issue. But I work in a small, rural place and do small contracts in my down time like reading over thesis to check if they told the "story" well. Who I vote for shouldn't be anybody's business. My opinions are my own. My Uncle had a t-shirt that said "Opinions are like assholes - Everbodys got ONE!!" So, my asshole opinion is that people need to mind their matters. Jeeze...the stupidest shit gets reported. I'm not even going to mention what I got reported for...just that it was stupid. So VOTE SPONGEBOB!!!! or better yet, VOTE FOR CLITORIS FOR PRIME MINISTER!!!! (I'll continue this when I stop laughing)
As for the easily bruises egos...the fact that I want to start a party in Canada that is dedicated to the Clitoris should say much about whom exactly has delicate egos...bring on my GMO Turkey of Impending Death!! For some reason, Monty Python comes to mind and I suddenly want to go around shouting after turkey on Dec.24 and Dec.25th - "BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!" because seriously...that is the alarmist climate we live in. All I wanted was to buy a damn turkey...never even got to explain it's name is Toddette either... :'( *pouting*
Someone out there in the great universe of cyber space (which is apparently vast and infinite) has decided that I needed a slap on the hand. Well hello to you too Private Person Of Questionable Courage!! If you want to complain about me, leave your name, your number and a brief message and I will be sure to return your call if there is some actual substance to it. Regardless, I'm actually very careful about what I post and when I post it on my Facebook, Twitter, etc. I can write about my clitoris and orgasms all I want but mention anything about politics, research etc and I basically f--ed myself in the bumholey-oh without lube...OUCH!!
To be quite honest, I do not live my life with the word "Politics" in my mind every day. When I spend time with my family it's not where I think about politics. When I go to do my job, it's not with them (the politicians and bureaucrats) in mind. It's with the conviction that I will be doing the best that I can for the PEOPLE I work with and for. I don't really care that you make more than me (I'm a cynical and jaded beyotch who probably already assumes you do anyways) or that you have all this "power" or who you are voting for. It doesn't really bother me because I AM NOT MY JOB and POLITICS is not my job. Sure, everything in life might be political but I guess I am deep in denial right now. Even the politics of food is insane...
For example, I mentioned this in passing today..."I miss buying a butterball. I think I'm going to grab me one of those for the good ol'Christ-masses a la maison" and BAAAAMM! The words GMO and Organic and, even, growing my own turkey (seriously, I'd pay someone to do that!) come to mind. Honestly, if you are going to judge me over a turkey, it's a good thing I didn't mention my stance on birth control or vaccines. Holy Jumpin Jalapenos Bat Baby!! You think I just said "Why yes young lady...I not only fry children's kidneys to go with my GMO basmati rice, I am also an agent for Satan but please..keep in mind that my duties are largely ceremonial." After explaining that just because someone does something a certain way or wants to a damn turkey (okay, so maybe saying damn wasn't a good thing but what the hell...I could have swore! Lesser of evils people!) that they shouldn't be judged as being a part of corporate America. Last I checked...we lived in Canada. 0_0 Unless I have my geography wrong or am taking things a lil too literal.
Regardless, I never got to explain to Miss Planetery that we DO buy from local turkey growing people who assure ME that they only feed the turkeys grain/corn they grow themselves. Then BAM! Slapped with all this PAPER information regarding all the additives in this and that...I tried to care for all of 30 seconds but to be honest, and candid, it was just taking up my time. It took every fiber of my being to not respond with a quick "Why hello Miss Planetery. How nice of how to destroy 20% of the boreal forest in order for you to tell me GMO's are ruining my life." I have better things to do with my time than listen to someone tell me about why I am going to get cancer from my turkey. Or a brain tumor from Wi-Fi. Or maybe even eye cancer from my contact lenses. I don't know. Just seems to me that everyone can get cancer from everything. Has it ever occurred to all these cancer-sayers that maybe we ALL carry the possibility of activating our cancer causing cells? So maybe eating my turkey might be the catalyst for getting cancer...but it's going to be sinfully delicious first! hahaha ;)
Facebook and Twitter...holy eff! I'm sorry at times I ever joined you if it means I could get in trouble for writing "VOTE NDP" or "VOTE LIBERAL" or "VOTE FOR SPONGEBOB!!!!" Seriously now...since when does whomever I vote for...or my own opinion make it the opinion of whomever I have worked for in the past. Unless I worked for the NDP and wanted to vote for Spongebob. Then it might be an issue. But I work in a small, rural place and do small contracts in my down time like reading over thesis to check if they told the "story" well. Who I vote for shouldn't be anybody's business. My opinions are my own. My Uncle had a t-shirt that said "Opinions are like assholes - Everbodys got ONE!!" So, my asshole opinion is that people need to mind their matters. Jeeze...the stupidest shit gets reported. I'm not even going to mention what I got reported for...just that it was stupid. So VOTE SPONGEBOB!!!! or better yet, VOTE FOR CLITORIS FOR PRIME MINISTER!!!! (I'll continue this when I stop laughing)
As for the easily bruises egos...the fact that I want to start a party in Canada that is dedicated to the Clitoris should say much about whom exactly has delicate egos...bring on my GMO Turkey of Impending Death!! For some reason, Monty Python comes to mind and I suddenly want to go around shouting after turkey on Dec.24 and Dec.25th - "BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!" because seriously...that is the alarmist climate we live in. All I wanted was to buy a damn turkey...never even got to explain it's name is Toddette either... :'( *pouting*
Monday, 1 December 2014
Orgasms...battery operated sex life...exile from the Y chromosome...and other frustrations
So, it's been eating at me since I last spoke with Joey about this crazy idea he has for the holidays. Then again, Joey and I typically have crazy conversations (lately it's been about IVF, Sperm and Egg donations, tradition, and who would survive the zombie apocalypse) and he seems ready to settle down. This always leads to exactly why we haven't spoken in the last 24 hours on our typical end of November gabfest weekend. I turned off my cell, took out the damn batteries and stayed mad for hours on end because he was being a big arseface! That's right Joey! ARSE...FACE. Well...I'm not as angry with you anymore but just so you know...you were one more asinine assumption away from being a butt-boil on the body of humanity. Which is always worse in my world and you damn well know it.
Here's what happened. Joey is ready to settle down and is always convinced that what he does, I must surely follow suit. For some reason it must be this way. If he wasn't such an old pen pal (turned email buddy ***yes we email and I'm positively ancient for it but who cares!!**) I would have done more than just bust his ear drums. I would have tracked him down and sledgehammered his balls. There is one thing that I never have appreciated having in my life and that is hypocrites. I'm not a damn hypocrite. I also do not force my view or ways of life on anyone around me. After all these years, all the things we have talked about - dreams, hopes, aspirations, fears, grief, loss, happiness, etc...he got preachy. The one thing I will not apologize for is how open I am about my sex life, the way I am sexually, or how I refuse to treat sex as some taboo dirty topic - more so, when it isn't.
I believe that every consenting adult should have fun with sex in a safe and pleasurable manner. I believe that solo missions (masturbation) is a necessity. I look at it this way - if I don't know what turns me on, heats my blood and makes me scream to the heavens...then any partner I have in the future isn't going to know either. Apparently, my remarks about my year of celibacy and comments of sex toys and not having the time for men (or women) at this point in my life...it was a argument starter. Who knows...maybe I was looking for an argument. I don't care. When he said that I was in self imposed exile from the Y-chromosome because I am punishing every man for doing what other assholes did to me was uncalled for. I don't hate men. I don't hate women. I don't hate transgender or whatever the hell you label yourself as. I love people. I find them attractive. I like kissing. I like bringing pleasure to my partner in a myriad of ways. I write my own erotica for goodness sakes! Just because I refuse to live my life ashamed of my sexuality does not mean I need to settle down. This does not make me a slut either.
I want to state, for the damn freaking record, I may have been sexually frustrated during my year of celibacy but I learned a lot about who I was. I went through a period where I knew I was using men to take my mind of things I didn't want to face about myself. I made no secrets about their use in my life either. I have always established boundaries with every sexual partner I have ever had. I could be, quite possibly, the cruelest and coldest individual, I know at times. I can be cold and clinical. I learned early on how to compartmentalize. My year of celibacy, struggling with my own inadequacies (and celebrating some of them) was an amazing experience. I also want to stress...FULL celibacy. Not even solo missions. Na-da. ZIP. Zero. Zilch. I even discussed this with a Psychologist just so I wasn't doing this alone (couch time saved lives I tell ya). Which was the best thing I have ever done. I learned about the psychological aspects of what I liked sexually and how to be open about it without criticizing my partner (I needed to stop saying "it's like this" **yes - I know I was an asshole). Basically, couch time was time to analyze everything I did and be brutally honest with myself about my own narcissistic, butthole behavior.
That being said...ahem...I DO NOT NEED A DAMN WITNESS TO ANY ORGASM I HAVE! Not having a boyfriend is entirely different than not having an orgasm. Trust me, even if my current sex life is mainly the "battery operated small town life style"...I do orgasm. I don't need a boyfriend for that. I think what really bugs me is the fact that people thing I need a man. People who have been in my life for years think I need this mythological Mr.Right, with his amazing phallic organ of orgasmic earth shattering awesomeness that I am incomplete without him. He's mythological. The ideal never lives up to the real. Besides, I'm not sure there is a man alive that can handle me right now hahaha More importantly, I don't need a man. I want one. Therein lies the difference between me and 70% of the matchmakers in my life. They are convinced I need one - I know I don't. What I need is for my well meaning friends to get that I appreciate a man who asks me out more than I appreciate being set up. I find courage an attractive quality. There are so many attributes that go hand-in-hand with courage like confidence, good self-esteem, sense of self-worth - to name a few...I do have moments though...
Okay. I can readily admit I am not the nicest person in the world. I'll be the first to nosedive off my own pedestal and to fight tooth and nail if anyone ever put me on one (I'm also terribly klutzy - so this is a bad idea). I'm not the greatest friend. There are times where I will tell you a truth you aren't ready to face, simply because I believe the fact that you are living in this little denial is you giving into the fear of failure or rejection. The truth I tell you is done in order for you to catch up to your own reality. But I am not alone!!!! I have friends (whom I lovingly refer to as bastards once in awhile LOL) that will see me open a door I closed on some aspect of me that I'm not comfortable with showing (I can be very private about certain things) and BAM! Bastards break the damn window and bust in through there. They could have waited till I opened the door completely but no...they have to break in through the window once they saw the door opened a little bit...pffft!!! I'm supposed to be the impatient one here...come on! hahahaha
So, knowing that about me, and having caught glimpses of my personality from past posts, you can only imagine how "thrilled" I was to be told that I NEED TO SETTLE DOWN WITH A GOOD MAN...AND BE WHOLESOME. I would totally be open to settling down with a good man - but uh...where is he? Where is this good man that everyone is convinced I need in my life? Wholesome is not a word I would ever use or think I would need. Cripes! The only thing I needed in my life today was mayo to dip my fries in (don't judge me). I blew up in an epic way. I don't like being judged. How many sexual partners I had and who they were ... is not up for discussion. They deserve their privacy but I open to talking about experiences.
Some of them funny (the guy who farted when he'd climax). Some of the erotic (I never feet could be an erogenous zone when Magnum did that?! ***Magnum was the guy that I learned about Magnum condoms with LOL Yes I can be naive). Some of them were mind blowing (literally wow!). Some I experienced the REAL petite morte with (holy hell!) and others I loved completely. I am capable of love.
I am capable of being in a committed, monogamous relationship. I'm open to the idea (or concept). I'm just not actively pursuing it. I'm waiting. I'm okay with that. So Joey...while I happy you are happy...you can seriously kiss my big brown butt. Also, you are mistaken. I am not waiting on the perfect man. I am waiting on one that knows what is clitoris is and doesn't need a GPS or a pill to find it. I know where mine is. I don't need a man or a GPS to tell me that.
P.S. You are an asshole. Don't talk to me. I'm mad yet.
Friday, 28 November 2014
Baking Day! aka Afternoon Drinking
There is one thing I do on my day off at the end of every November...I bake. Then I sip wine while I bake. By the time I am done all of my baking...I'm typically pretty tipsy and everything is amazing, lovable and utterly funny. I have no idea why wine invokes my inner flower child but it does hahaha So this is going to be my afternoon.
Also, I have been very busy as of late and updates have been sporadic at best. I apologize to anyone who actually reads this stuff. You are amazing and have excellent taste if you do ;) I just really don't have much to say. Nothing major has gone on in my life because I am chained to my desk. I even turned down a paid lunch (sweetie was gonna buy it since he's all boyfriendless to at the moment)...so...yup.
The places where I got stabbed by the nurse for my vaccines still hurt. It's retarding my cooking processes hahaha sounds weird. Anyways. I should get up and shower but I want to be a lazy today...but I have baking that must be done. I just have this feeling that my baking is going to turn into some kind of big ass supper I randomly decide to make hahahaha It does happen when visitors pop over :) anyways..I'll catch ya on the flip. Here's some of my food porn for ya ;)
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Also, I have been very busy as of late and updates have been sporadic at best. I apologize to anyone who actually reads this stuff. You are amazing and have excellent taste if you do ;) I just really don't have much to say. Nothing major has gone on in my life because I am chained to my desk. I even turned down a paid lunch (sweetie was gonna buy it since he's all boyfriendless to at the moment)...so...yup.
The places where I got stabbed by the nurse for my vaccines still hurt. It's retarding my cooking processes hahaha sounds weird. Anyways. I should get up and shower but I want to be a lazy today...but I have baking that must be done. I just have this feeling that my baking is going to turn into some kind of big ass supper I randomly decide to make hahahaha It does happen when visitors pop over :) anyways..I'll catch ya on the flip. Here's some of my food porn for ya ;)
Wednesday, 26 November 2014
Vaccine...ouchie ouch ouch :(
Well...today I got vaccinated for the flu. I figured - YOLO - hahahaha I just feel like I lowered my I.Q. just thinking that acronym and typing it hahahaha I feel dumber 0_0
Anyways, the point is that the flu vaccine was alright. It hurts a bit but nothing is compared to the slow (surprising) sting of Cervarix (it is also expensive when you are over 30!) and wowzers! I was surprised that it would sting...the size of the injection shot as well. Either way, I'm a big baby. It's always so much easier to give blood than to have something injected into my body that stings for hours on end. It doesn't anymore but that development was recent.
On a more positive (and not friggen whiny) note, I looked into my Degree Evaluation and have just decided to figure out something. I'd rather work and do distance course at the same time than go to school right away and be broke ass. I don't handle broke or starving student so well anymore. I'm used to having a wide selection of munchies like veggies, fruit, desserts, whatever suits my fancy. Starving student status went out a long ass time ago. Regardless, I would seriously like to finish my degree. I think it would be an awesome endeavor. I am locked into something for the next 24 months but I can make it worth my while...pay off my debt, get my ear problems dealt with, build up my legs muscles (the stairs there!!!) and I'm sure losing a little weight before I go back to school would be a good thing. I hate the classrooms though. Sitting there for hours on end...I was never good at sitting still. But I am sure I would succeed. I have yet to fail at something I really want.
On that note...this will probably be me..with all the 18 to 26 year olds that just MIGHT be in university by the time I get around to attending lol
Anyways, the point is that the flu vaccine was alright. It hurts a bit but nothing is compared to the slow (surprising) sting of Cervarix (it is also expensive when you are over 30!) and wowzers! I was surprised that it would sting...the size of the injection shot as well. Either way, I'm a big baby. It's always so much easier to give blood than to have something injected into my body that stings for hours on end. It doesn't anymore but that development was recent.
On a more positive (and not friggen whiny) note, I looked into my Degree Evaluation and have just decided to figure out something. I'd rather work and do distance course at the same time than go to school right away and be broke ass. I don't handle broke or starving student so well anymore. I'm used to having a wide selection of munchies like veggies, fruit, desserts, whatever suits my fancy. Starving student status went out a long ass time ago. Regardless, I would seriously like to finish my degree. I think it would be an awesome endeavor. I am locked into something for the next 24 months but I can make it worth my while...pay off my debt, get my ear problems dealt with, build up my legs muscles (the stairs there!!!) and I'm sure losing a little weight before I go back to school would be a good thing. I hate the classrooms though. Sitting there for hours on end...I was never good at sitting still. But I am sure I would succeed. I have yet to fail at something I really want.
On that note...this will probably be me..with all the 18 to 26 year olds that just MIGHT be in university by the time I get around to attending lol
I can hear it all now..."TFN...1983...I was just born..." lol :P
Have a good one!
Monday, 24 November 2014
Apparently I am a cat... :/ who knew...
So, my cousin told me today that I am a cat. I just laughed and then proceeded to do my own thing...only to stop in the middle of what I was doing and think "Holeh...I do kind of act like a cat...oh my...to the Bat Cave!" and then I laughed. Because laughing is good for you :D But seriously now, I do have cat like tendencies. Here is a list of things I like to do:
1) If I need to get your attention or I want your attention I will put myself in your line of sight and touch your arm...unless your Meloberry...then I will probably do something to deliberately gross you out like lick your hand or tell you that you look great with a side of fava beans (I'm sure she's getting desensitized now)
2) I tend to whip out a nail file and nail clippers with full kit out of nowhere and randomly start doing my nails (It's just a habit now)
3) I will nudge and snuggle my way under an arm or into the crook of someones neck (just like my cat)
4) Shiny things distract me. So do lasers. I'm pretty sure this is an everyone phenomena and not just me and cats.
5) I will randomly say "Meow" or "Roooooowww" just because. I need no reason. DON'T JUDGE ME!!! lol
6) Apparently I act like a cat when it comes to certain things. I apparently act like a predator (Not the alien or the creepy white van kind). I can snatch things out of peoples hand quickly and I tend to glare right before I strike! lol I never noticed this...this seems fabricated but okay.
7) I just do whatever I want anyways.
Those are all the reason I am apparently a cat. Learn something new every day. Kind of felt like this when she told me that...
hahahahaha Goodnight! xo
Sunday, 23 November 2014
The extra long post because I got delayed...
So...I can hear my Mum shouting at the TV (something slam or wrestling whatever)..bro is laughing in his room...Dad just finished driving around his nephew...and I am in my room with my foot up since I opened the cut on my ankle earlier (forgot and did stretches - this confusion is pissing me off!).
Now...for the more fun part...I got drunk during supper and decided that me and my cousins should go to the casino and gamble. LOL Well..I did. I ended up in the high roller section for an hour. I lost 40 bucks but managed to win 50.00 out of the hundred I walked in there with. Didnt even know there was a high roller table hahahaha I'm not a gamble. I'm pretty much gambler inept. It's almost as bad as how clueless I am when it comes to directions to places. hahahahahaha
annnd...I went on a terrible date. LOL It was a tough voting thing and ended up being "sold off" to some late forties man. I love men. I could careless about the age really...it's what he did that totally put me off completely and made me entirely too uncomfortable. Auctioned off Julia did not like that at all LOL A big middle finger and F U to you dating gods! hahaha ok..not really...but I did enjoy myself minus the whole introduction. The guy moves in to kiss me (I presumed), I turned to offer my cheek and he basically stuck his tongue in my ear and licked my lips right after annnnnd I was stunned. Who does that really?! Holy eff! That was the most unsexy thing ever...I have no idea if he kisses like that all the time but it's awful. Someone should tell him that if he does. I would hope someone told him that. 0_0 He's old enough to know how to kiss a cheek or how to greet someone who they don't even know beyond meeting me through a friend. What the hell...either way, I tried to be subtle about it by wiping his saliva off my face and told him "well..that was unexpected...let's not try that again" (okay...so subtle was gone) and then I said "I don't know what impression you have of me or what is expected at this supper but we are not going to get sexual. I'm not that type of woman. If you are expecting that, I suggest you leave before you waste your time because you would be wasting yours and mine if you stayed and thought you were going to get laid". Then he laughs and says "You talk like a real woman. I like that. I'm going to stick around for the company. If you don't mind that is..." and we proceeded to have a great time. We had a good supper. Minus me leaving reeking of his cologne (too much marination going on) and the salvia and weird ear makeout session he had with my ear - I had fun. It was good. Buuut I don't think I would ever do that again. Nope. Not now. Not ever. He is obviously looking for something quick and easy (he even stated that).
On another note, I had someone ask about an ex-boyfriend I had about forever and a day ago (okay,within the last 5 years lol) and what happened there. It was all boiled down to "He's happy as long as he's got someone to share his misery with. I'm happy it's not me." and that was that. Seriously, I don't have an antagonistic relationship with all of my exes. There are some who are cheaters, liars, assholes, fucktards, pussnuts, users and abusers. There are actually only 3 I don't speak with at all. Two of them cheated on me and the other one pushed me into a wall once...and well...you can be charged even if someone starts something first. I'm just lucky the asshole didn't charge me because I pushed him right off the steps (only three stairs) and hit him with his boots for pushing me into a wall...in anger. Now...when he pushed me against a wall while kissing me and well...that was a totally different thing hahahaha He was a passionate man but very jealous and I was so convinced I wasn't worth it at that time. Most of my exes have just this one thing in common - they lied to me. It's a big thing! No one has any idea how big lying is to me.
Lying is deception. It is dishonesty. It is untruthfulness. How can you trust someone who lies about things like where they were? Keeping in mind I was asking because they were running late to a friends wedding (I'm not my boyfriends keeper so I don't gps him or whatever) Or someone who feels they need to lie? That's not to say I haven't lied in my life. I have. I have told "white lies" (yes I know it is still a lie even if its white) but I do it to save grace...or face. I was told repeatedly that if you lie you have to always remember it. I have enough to remember with always remembering a lie hahaha I also don't need that on my conscience. I have told lies to protect people from worrying about me or other people. There are times when I have justified it but really...that's not the lying I am talking about. It's the whole "I love you" and you then hear your (at the time) boyfriend say that to someone else - which one is the lie? It just calls into question everything he said. It makes him unpredictable because you then wonder how he misrepresented himself. I'm not talking about him choking down your god awful failed recipe...I'm talking about the serious shit like him "mysteriously" having extra money or why he needs a gun or him distracting you when it comes to you asking where he was for hours on end...or why he needs two cars...shit like that. There's a whole world of difference between lying and saying "That dress doesn't make you look fat at all" and then lying by saying "I will always be faithful to you". It just bugs me. I'm just done with being lied too. I'm not saying all men are liars either...just my exes. LOL Maybe they learned to be honest people with all the ranting I did to them about what I basically wrote down here. I believe some people can change and others can effect change and there are those that change is too scary - to unknown - so they pretend (misrepresentation is a form of deception which is a form of lying!)...it's something I was thinking about on the 6 hour ride home.
This week away I also realized I don't miss Marc at all. There wasn't a single time I thought of him or even felt lonely because he wasn't around. Or because I didn't hear from him. I got a wicked blast from the past with Jay messaged me. That was seriously bizzare because I didn't see that coming (he was totally the rebound and was happy with knowing that too LOL)...and I seriously had no problem with it. I had no problems or felt anything. It was the moment I realized "I'm okay again" and that I can move on. Although I will be focusing more on myself right now than anything, I do enjoy knowing I can move on. I'll always have memories of his words, his calls, his epic Marc'isms hahaha but I'm good with that part of my life being over. It hasn't been long but...I'm okay. When we talked yesterday I was okay with not answering him back right away. I was okay with receiving his voicemail messages. I was okay with it all. It's nice to finally not feel hurt or like I missed out because I didn't. The only thing I missed out on was peace of mind. I was done making excuses and ended the situationship/relationship/lovers or whatever you want to call it. I was just completely done. It feels good.
I guess what I was really thinking about, in between my kickass meetings and visits, was all the qualities I didn't want when I should have been focusing more on what I do want. I want a human being. Someone who isn't afraid of being human. Who isn't trying to be perfect. Someone who can accept my imperfections. Someone who doesn't shy away from me because I can be a bit weird or extreme about things at times. Someone who can handle my otaku tendencies and my needs for deep philosophical conversation and whimsy. Someone who isn't wanting to change every aspect of who I am to fit who they think they want me to be. Someone who will laugh with me and laugh at me. Someone who has an amazing sense of humour. Someone who embraces hygiene and understands my crazy need for Crest only products. Someone who can accept me with every load of drama, tears, sorrow, joys, love, laughter, sunshine, rainy days, need for Legend of Zelda nights, and all my eccentricities...as much as I will do the same for them. I want man. Not raise one. Give and take. I would do the same. Equal measure...or as the Elric brothers would say "Equivalent Exchange" hahaha
Hmm...maybe I just want Sanji...LOL :P
On that note, see you tomorrow! Have a good one.
Now...for the more fun part...I got drunk during supper and decided that me and my cousins should go to the casino and gamble. LOL Well..I did. I ended up in the high roller section for an hour. I lost 40 bucks but managed to win 50.00 out of the hundred I walked in there with. Didnt even know there was a high roller table hahahaha I'm not a gamble. I'm pretty much gambler inept. It's almost as bad as how clueless I am when it comes to directions to places. hahahahahaha
annnd...I went on a terrible date. LOL It was a tough voting thing and ended up being "sold off" to some late forties man. I love men. I could careless about the age really...it's what he did that totally put me off completely and made me entirely too uncomfortable. Auctioned off Julia did not like that at all LOL A big middle finger and F U to you dating gods! hahaha ok..not really...but I did enjoy myself minus the whole introduction. The guy moves in to kiss me (I presumed), I turned to offer my cheek and he basically stuck his tongue in my ear and licked my lips right after annnnnd I was stunned. Who does that really?! Holy eff! That was the most unsexy thing ever...I have no idea if he kisses like that all the time but it's awful. Someone should tell him that if he does. I would hope someone told him that. 0_0 He's old enough to know how to kiss a cheek or how to greet someone who they don't even know beyond meeting me through a friend. What the hell...either way, I tried to be subtle about it by wiping his saliva off my face and told him "well..that was unexpected...let's not try that again" (okay...so subtle was gone) and then I said "I don't know what impression you have of me or what is expected at this supper but we are not going to get sexual. I'm not that type of woman. If you are expecting that, I suggest you leave before you waste your time because you would be wasting yours and mine if you stayed and thought you were going to get laid". Then he laughs and says "You talk like a real woman. I like that. I'm going to stick around for the company. If you don't mind that is..." and we proceeded to have a great time. We had a good supper. Minus me leaving reeking of his cologne (too much marination going on) and the salvia and weird ear makeout session he had with my ear - I had fun. It was good. Buuut I don't think I would ever do that again. Nope. Not now. Not ever. He is obviously looking for something quick and easy (he even stated that).
On another note, I had someone ask about an ex-boyfriend I had about forever and a day ago (okay,within the last 5 years lol) and what happened there. It was all boiled down to "He's happy as long as he's got someone to share his misery with. I'm happy it's not me." and that was that. Seriously, I don't have an antagonistic relationship with all of my exes. There are some who are cheaters, liars, assholes, fucktards, pussnuts, users and abusers. There are actually only 3 I don't speak with at all. Two of them cheated on me and the other one pushed me into a wall once...and well...you can be charged even if someone starts something first. I'm just lucky the asshole didn't charge me because I pushed him right off the steps (only three stairs) and hit him with his boots for pushing me into a wall...in anger. Now...when he pushed me against a wall while kissing me and well...that was a totally different thing hahahaha He was a passionate man but very jealous and I was so convinced I wasn't worth it at that time. Most of my exes have just this one thing in common - they lied to me. It's a big thing! No one has any idea how big lying is to me.
Lying is deception. It is dishonesty. It is untruthfulness. How can you trust someone who lies about things like where they were? Keeping in mind I was asking because they were running late to a friends wedding (I'm not my boyfriends keeper so I don't gps him or whatever) Or someone who feels they need to lie? That's not to say I haven't lied in my life. I have. I have told "white lies" (yes I know it is still a lie even if its white) but I do it to save grace...or face. I was told repeatedly that if you lie you have to always remember it. I have enough to remember with always remembering a lie hahaha I also don't need that on my conscience. I have told lies to protect people from worrying about me or other people. There are times when I have justified it but really...that's not the lying I am talking about. It's the whole "I love you" and you then hear your (at the time) boyfriend say that to someone else - which one is the lie? It just calls into question everything he said. It makes him unpredictable because you then wonder how he misrepresented himself. I'm not talking about him choking down your god awful failed recipe...I'm talking about the serious shit like him "mysteriously" having extra money or why he needs a gun or him distracting you when it comes to you asking where he was for hours on end...or why he needs two cars...shit like that. There's a whole world of difference between lying and saying "That dress doesn't make you look fat at all" and then lying by saying "I will always be faithful to you". It just bugs me. I'm just done with being lied too. I'm not saying all men are liars either...just my exes. LOL Maybe they learned to be honest people with all the ranting I did to them about what I basically wrote down here. I believe some people can change and others can effect change and there are those that change is too scary - to unknown - so they pretend (misrepresentation is a form of deception which is a form of lying!)...it's something I was thinking about on the 6 hour ride home.
This week away I also realized I don't miss Marc at all. There wasn't a single time I thought of him or even felt lonely because he wasn't around. Or because I didn't hear from him. I got a wicked blast from the past with Jay messaged me. That was seriously bizzare because I didn't see that coming (he was totally the rebound and was happy with knowing that too LOL)...and I seriously had no problem with it. I had no problems or felt anything. It was the moment I realized "I'm okay again" and that I can move on. Although I will be focusing more on myself right now than anything, I do enjoy knowing I can move on. I'll always have memories of his words, his calls, his epic Marc'isms hahaha but I'm good with that part of my life being over. It hasn't been long but...I'm okay. When we talked yesterday I was okay with not answering him back right away. I was okay with receiving his voicemail messages. I was okay with it all. It's nice to finally not feel hurt or like I missed out because I didn't. The only thing I missed out on was peace of mind. I was done making excuses and ended the situationship/relationship/lovers or whatever you want to call it. I was just completely done. It feels good.
I guess what I was really thinking about, in between my kickass meetings and visits, was all the qualities I didn't want when I should have been focusing more on what I do want. I want a human being. Someone who isn't afraid of being human. Who isn't trying to be perfect. Someone who can accept my imperfections. Someone who doesn't shy away from me because I can be a bit weird or extreme about things at times. Someone who can handle my otaku tendencies and my needs for deep philosophical conversation and whimsy. Someone who isn't wanting to change every aspect of who I am to fit who they think they want me to be. Someone who will laugh with me and laugh at me. Someone who has an amazing sense of humour. Someone who embraces hygiene and understands my crazy need for Crest only products. Someone who can accept me with every load of drama, tears, sorrow, joys, love, laughter, sunshine, rainy days, need for Legend of Zelda nights, and all my eccentricities...as much as I will do the same for them. I want man. Not raise one. Give and take. I would do the same. Equal measure...or as the Elric brothers would say "Equivalent Exchange" hahaha
Hmm...maybe I just want Sanji...LOL :P
On that note, see you tomorrow! Have a good one.
Saturday, 22 November 2014
TA DA! I'm back! hahaha
So...I had a very important business trip this week that I prepared for. We had the most amazing meeting, was done hours before we were scheduled to be done and got the best reviews (ABOVE THE PROVINCIAL AVERAGE! WOOOOOEEEEE!!!). So...tonight when I get home I will update this more thoroughly. Right now I need to pack. LOL Lots of packing to be done.
Suffice it to say...this lovely lady was kind of tipsy and didn't realize she was playing at the high rollers table last night at the casino...
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Suffice it to say...this lovely lady was kind of tipsy and didn't realize she was playing at the high rollers table last night at the casino...
Wednesday, 19 November 2014
Life with Mum - My FB status messages hahaha
You have no idea how strange we can be. But our strangeness makes us fun...and by us I mean my family. We are 4 adults living under one roof (thanks to the housing shortage on reserve) but we tend to get along quite well. My Mum and I tend to have our moments though. I, obviously, take of her in some respects and in others...well...you'll see...lol
I would write more but I am already behind on my packing and I need to fit some sleep in at some point hahaha
Hope these make you laugh and have a good one!
JJ: Yes it does.
Mum: Sure it does. Why would they put it on TV if it wasnt true?
Me: Just dont believe everything you see on TV or read on the Internet okay Mum?
Mum: Ok. JJ...you think the Waltons ever believed anything they seen on TV?
JJ: Well ya. Fleetwood...Google that...
*both looking at be expecting something*
Me: What did I just say?!
Mum: JJ...dont believe everything you seen on TV until Julia tells you its real.
JJ: But that's really the Waltons.
Mum: I know.
*JJ turns to me*
JJ: See Fleetwood...even your Mum knows its really the Waltons...
Me: *sweatdrop and sigh* Goodnight John Boy...
JJ: Goodnight Maryellen!
I would write more but I am already behind on my packing and I need to fit some sleep in at some point hahaha
Hope these make you laugh and have a good one!
Me: But I don't wanna shovel the driveway...I just had a shower and I'm massaging my scalp. Don't you usually pay someone to do it?
Mum: Well...
Me: Nevermind. You ask Dad and I really don't need to repress a memory tonight about how you choose to pay...
Mum just shrugs Hahahahahaha
___
Hahahaha
Me *feeling animizzy* : Better watch out now Mum!! Gonna fight ya this time..
Mum *just as animizzy* : Oh yeah...bring it on *starts jumping around with her fists up*
Me: *start mirroring Mum* Not gonna go easy on ya this time...this time your gonna get it...no more lil kicks to the shins...
Mum: *swings at me* oh yeah...well I'm gonna get ya in the head...and then beat ya and then fight ya...
Me: This fight is scheduled for one fall...
Mum: I'm coming now...now you're gonna get it...better watch out..
Me: for what?! Your tickle attack...I have an even more deadly attack now...
Mum and Me starts swatting each others hands...laughing like manaics...
Me: Now..time for my dreaded hug-lift-and-twirl attack!!!! Raaaewwwwwwww!!!!*hug and lift Mum*
Mum: PUT ME DOWN IM SCARED OF HEIGHTS!!!!!
Bwahahaha!!!! I love her!!!! Hahaha
____
Creepy Mum moment...
Mum: Too many people go to the graveyard drunk....
Me: Oh yeah? How do you know that?
Mum: So I'm just gonna bury you all in the back of the house.
Me: hahaha Sounds like your planning to kill us.
Mum: Oh no...but there is someone buried in your Aunt's backyard.
Hahahahahahahaha
___
Hahahaha
Mum: Caaaandeh...
Me: Ohhhh..sweet candeh...
Mum and Me: CAAAAANNNNDEEEHHH!!!!
hahahaha
____
hahahahaha
Me: *grabs Daddy's arm and bites and smiles at him* Do you ever worry about my mental health?
Daddy: *dishing up some potatoes* .......sometimes...
Mum: What did you do to your Dad now?
Me: Chewed on him like he was some kinda man corn.
Mum: Ohh...well..suppers ready.
Me whispering to Daddy: Do you ever worry about your mental health? I mean...we are all kinda crazy in here.
Daddy : *says nothing but looks exasperated*
Me to Mum: I think I actually might have annoyed him this time.
Mum : Alright *gives me the thumbs up*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
___
UPDATE *New best laugh of the day*
Commercial: Could be fatal in some people...
Mum: What does fatal mean?
Me: It means you are going to die.
Mum: Hooooo...that's some kind of medicine. If you don't take it you die...if you take it you might die...I'd just get a new pill that won't make you die. *nods to herself eating apple slices*
___
bwahahaha!!!
Me: Johnny Depp is 50 so I guess that is your old man crush...
Meloberry: He's not my old man crush. Mine is David Tennant. I am going to be 17 next month.
Me: I am going to be 30 this month.
Mom: Oh! That reminds me that I need to go to the graveyard this month.
Me: Nice to know my birthday reminds you of death...
Bwahahaha!!!!
___
Me: * glaring at Mums bag of junk*
Mum: Don't even say it! I know I'm a junkie...
Bwahahaha
_____
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Me: She's going through menopause. Its like shes jumping from this age to that age from this rage to that rage...
Kris: haha omg...must be interesting
Me: I feel dizzy some days trying to follow her mood swings. She just asked me to kill someone while in the same breathe saying she loves me to death. Im still not sure whom she was referring too but I hope its not me. She's cooking lunch today *hahahahaha*
___
lol
Me: they're burnt...
Mum: the toaster did it...
___
Me:Just because he ran away from the cops doesn't mean he's guilty...
Mum: He wouldn't have ran if he wasn't guilty.
Me: Maybe he just had a bad police experience...
Mum: Yeah...like the first time he was guilty of something and the cops were called so he ran away
Me: He could still be innocent...
Mum: But he ran from the cops so he did it.
Me: Are we really gonna argue about this?
Mum: He's not guilty if he dies soon...
Hahahaha just can't win...
____
My Mum the hypocodriac....
Mum: *calls me at work* Can you come home please? I have an emergency and we need to call the doctor right away.
Me: *worried now* Okay! I'll run over right away.
**** bust in the door and slam it shut : oh my god Mum was it your sugar? Is it low? are you having stroke symptoms? Whats wrong? Do I need to call an ambulance?
Mum: I was reading the Health Centre newsletter when I read that you have to have your prostate check when your over 40. Julia, I'm almost 50. I could have prostate cancer and not know it because I never got it checked.
Me *sitting down, hands in my face*: Please tell me your joking....
Mum: Jesus Christ Julia! This is serious! I never once had my prostate checked.
Me: I never scheduled an appointment for one because you damn well dont have one! What the hell Mum?! Women have ovaries, not prostates.
Mum: How do you know that? You're not a doctor or cancer specialist?!
Me: I know it because I'm a woman and I know you gave birth to me. Last time I checked women didnt have prostates. Just ask Dad.
Mum: Oh...
Me: yeah...was that seriously all you wanted?
Mum: Dont look at me like that. How was I supposed to know women didn't have prostates...
BWAHAHAHA!!!
____
AC/DC Mum
Me: I don't get why I had to take a day off from work to do this...
Mum: Because you love me...
***Mum turns up the radio*** AC/DC Dirty Deeds comes on and could hear Mum singing something
Me: Say that again Mum?
Mum: Bury me! Six Feet Deep! Oh Bury Me, Six feet deep...
Me: BWAHAHAHAJAMES!! COME LISTEN TO MUM SING!!!
Mum: Well..thats what hes saying Julia..duh? I know the song. My husband likes them...
James: What you laughing so hard about?
Me: *almost on the floor in the hallway from laughing* Mum...hahahaha sing it!!!
Mum: Bury me! Six Feet Deep! Oh Bury Me..six feet deep..
James: hahahahaha!!! Mom its dirty deeds and they're done dirty cheap.
Mum: Oh...well, I like mine better anyways.
______________
Mum the Big Christmas Kid
Mum: Go back to bed...it's too early for you...
Me: I've been getting text messages since midnight and they are still coming in...
Mum: oh...but go back to bed.
Me: That big gift is yours and Dad's.
Mum: Well...you might as well stay up now..*eyeballing the big gift*
Mum: Go back to bed...it's too early for you...
Me: I've been getting text messages since midnight and they are still coming in...
Mum: oh...but go back to bed.
Me: That big gift is yours and Dad's.
Mum: Well...you might as well stay up now..*eyeballing the big gift*
_________________
Me: What?! Just cuz you seen it on TV doesnt make it true ya know.JJ: Yes it does.
Mum: Sure it does. Why would they put it on TV if it wasnt true?
Me: Just dont believe everything you see on TV or read on the Internet okay Mum?
Mum: Ok. JJ...you think the Waltons ever believed anything they seen on TV?
JJ: Well ya. Fleetwood...Google that...
*both looking at be expecting something*
Me: What did I just say?!
Mum: JJ...dont believe everything you seen on TV until Julia tells you its real.
JJ: But that's really the Waltons.
Mum: I know.
*JJ turns to me*
JJ: See Fleetwood...even your Mum knows its really the Waltons...
Me: *sweatdrop and sigh* Goodnight John Boy...
JJ: Goodnight Maryellen!
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