Someone out there in the great universe of cyber space (which is apparently vast and infinite) has decided that I needed a slap on the hand. Well hello to you too Private Person Of Questionable Courage!! If you want to complain about me, leave your name, your number and a brief message and I will be sure to return your call if there is some actual substance to it. Regardless, I'm actually very careful about what I post and when I post it on my Facebook, Twitter, etc. I can write about my clitoris and orgasms all I want but mention anything about politics, research etc and I basically f--ed myself in the bumholey-oh without lube...OUCH!!
To be quite honest, I do not live my life with the word "Politics" in my mind every day. When I spend time with my family it's not where I think about politics. When I go to do my job, it's not with them (the politicians and bureaucrats) in mind. It's with the conviction that I will be doing the best that I can for the PEOPLE I work with and for. I don't really care that you make more than me (I'm a cynical and jaded beyotch who probably already assumes you do anyways) or that you have all this "power" or who you are voting for. It doesn't really bother me because I AM NOT MY JOB and POLITICS is not my job. Sure, everything in life might be political but I guess I am deep in denial right now. Even the politics of food is insane...
For example, I mentioned this in passing today..."I miss buying a butterball. I think I'm going to grab me one of those for the good ol'Christ-masses a la maison" and BAAAAMM! The words GMO and Organic and, even, growing my own turkey (seriously, I'd pay someone to do that!) come to mind. Honestly, if you are going to judge me over a turkey, it's a good thing I didn't mention my stance on birth control or vaccines. Holy Jumpin Jalapenos Bat Baby!! You think I just said "Why yes young lady...I not only fry children's kidneys to go with my GMO basmati rice, I am also an agent for Satan but please..keep in mind that my duties are largely ceremonial." After explaining that just because someone does something a certain way or wants to a damn turkey (okay, so maybe saying damn wasn't a good thing but what the hell...I could have swore! Lesser of evils people!) that they shouldn't be judged as being a part of corporate America. Last I checked...we lived in Canada. 0_0 Unless I have my geography wrong or am taking things a lil too literal.
Regardless, I never got to explain to Miss Planetery that we DO buy from local turkey growing people who assure ME that they only feed the turkeys grain/corn they grow themselves. Then BAM! Slapped with all this PAPER information regarding all the additives in this and that...I tried to care for all of 30 seconds but to be honest, and candid, it was just taking up my time. It took every fiber of my being to not respond with a quick "Why hello Miss Planetery. How nice of how to destroy 20% of the boreal forest in order for you to tell me GMO's are ruining my life." I have better things to do with my time than listen to someone tell me about why I am going to get cancer from my turkey. Or a brain tumor from Wi-Fi. Or maybe even eye cancer from my contact lenses. I don't know. Just seems to me that everyone can get cancer from everything. Has it ever occurred to all these cancer-sayers that maybe we ALL carry the possibility of activating our cancer causing cells? So maybe eating my turkey might be the catalyst for getting cancer...but it's going to be sinfully delicious first! hahaha ;)
Facebook and Twitter...holy eff! I'm sorry at times I ever joined you if it means I could get in trouble for writing "VOTE NDP" or "VOTE LIBERAL" or "VOTE FOR SPONGEBOB!!!!" Seriously now...since when does whomever I vote for...or my own opinion make it the opinion of whomever I have worked for in the past. Unless I worked for the NDP and wanted to vote for Spongebob. Then it might be an issue. But I work in a small, rural place and do small contracts in my down time like reading over thesis to check if they told the "story" well. Who I vote for shouldn't be anybody's business. My opinions are my own. My Uncle had a t-shirt that said "Opinions are like assholes - Everbodys got ONE!!" So, my asshole opinion is that people need to mind their matters. Jeeze...the stupidest shit gets reported. I'm not even going to mention what I got reported for...just that it was stupid. So VOTE SPONGEBOB!!!! or better yet, VOTE FOR CLITORIS FOR PRIME MINISTER!!!! (I'll continue this when I stop laughing)
As for the easily bruises egos...the fact that I want to start a party in Canada that is dedicated to the Clitoris should say much about whom exactly has delicate egos...bring on my GMO Turkey of Impending Death!! For some reason, Monty Python comes to mind and I suddenly want to go around shouting after turkey on Dec.24 and Dec.25th - "BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!" because seriously...that is the alarmist climate we live in. All I wanted was to buy a damn turkey...never even got to explain it's name is Toddette either... :'( *pouting*
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