Deep moment...and then silliness to cheer me up :D

Today I cried in my office. I was so frustrated with the symptoms this vertigo crap has given me. I have a hard time with coordination because of the constant dizziness. Walking home like a drunk is starting to lose its funniness and now it's just irritating. Plus my concentration is off...today was just a hard day.

On top of everything else going on in my life, I had a very deep and profound moment that kind of carried me through the entire day in this haze of sadness. I received a text this morning from someone I loved very much and for the first time - nothing. No butterflies. No angst.  No hopefulness. Nothing. It was then that I realized I had already bawled my eyes out for all the ups and downs of a relationship that would never see fruition. I already grieved for the dreams that were once ours and that are solely my own now. I already cried over the friendship that could have built the solid foundation of our relationship. I laid all those hopes, dreams, and mutual goals to rest for the relationship that could never be...for my hopes of what it could be. Now I just feel nothing. I mean, it's like an old friend I don't really talk to but it would be rude to not say hello. Do you get what I mean? It's just like it happened when I wasn't looking. When I was distracted with work, family, friends, and other miscellaneous happenings and busy nothings...but I felt more alone in the world. A little more of an island than I have in awhile. It was sad :(

So, when I got home I was still upset. It made me sad to be so frustrated and to feel a lil more alone since it is not something I am used too. I enjoy my own company but am still struggling with the whole feeling alone and solitude and being alone, and lonely and lonesome. Because apparently they aren't the same. If only life came with a manual...I'd look this shit up! hahaha Buuuut...after  my family left and I signed into FB since demented Aryn kept sending me crazy messages hahaha We had the most epic convo hahaha It cheered me up...since today was one of those days...here is the pics of the convo hahaha

annnd what you aren't seeing is the part where my Mum tells me "Hey my baby girl...I really like those nails..." hahahaha

On that note...smile while you still have teeth :D

~ Julia