The Scary Parts of Living With No Regrets

This was me on Valentines day...

So, I didn't write a post about St. Valentine's day. Mainly because I was disappointed and hurt by this guy I really liked who ended up having to go travel four hours back home to visit with his Uncle who was visiting for ONE NIGHT ONLY. Still, I cried.  I was pretty bummed. I had plans I ended up cancelling a tour of this military thing I was positive he'd like since he's into that stuff. While I thought he was adorable, and I loved the way his eyes would crinkle when he smiled...and all his cute little freckles...I accepted the fact that I would not be spending my day with my lover but instead spending it with the lady from housekeeping who picked up on my sadness right away. I was supposed to go visit a friend of mine as well but she took her kids back home instead of sticking around. So I basically said fuck it. The housekeeping lady and I cheers-ed our chocolates together, I helped her make the bed, and she encouraged me to go out and enjoy myself anyways. So, I took a giant leap that night...

I went out on my own and had a blast. 

I had an amazing date with myself. I had such a great time. I got dressed. I put on some makeup. I had a few drinks before leaving the hotel room (yes! It was a SEXY TIME weekend and I was bummed enough to order high quality rum for ONE lol)...and I went out and had the best raspberry sherbet ever (go to The Raven and Republic if you are ever in North Bay, Ontario) to go with a yummy Georgia Peaches martini. I felt so great. I used to go out on my own but I haven't in awhile. I forgot how freeing it is to just be solo.

I enjoyed my time out and about. I enjoyed the friendly staff at the Holiday Inn Express & Suites who helped me pick a place without screaming half dressed people who would have just grated on my nerves with the whole *valley girl voice* "My favorite colour is pastel purple and silver!"The guy was so awesome. I forget your name but THANK YOU!!!! You definitely leveled up in karma points guy. Kudos to you!

So, I was hammered when I came back to the hotel. Laughing and Giggling. Thankfully, I was alone. hahaha I do recall speaking briefly with sexy Jay...and it was sexy...any call with a sexy, seductive male after midnight SHOULD ALWAYS BE SEXY!!! LOL Either way...I got an entire king sized bed to myself...and this was how I spent my morning...

Every woman should wake up, at least once, to the sound of some handsome man, with a sexy British Accent, saying "yeah....yeah...like that..." hahahaha :P In the fantasy theatre of my mind, it was said lower...hahaha But I had such a relaxing morning. I got a late check out. Took forever in the shower. Pampered myself. Then I finished packing up, did my makeup, and decided to go spend the rest of my afternoon shopping.

This is the look of a woman that decided to live with no regrets a long time ago. Yet, I forgot the scariest parts of living with no regrets is living honestly and truthfully - which in turn makes you vulnerable. Vulnerable to all THE FEELINGS!!! I was feeling soo many things...but I'm good now. I'm glad I recaptured that spark. I'm glad I could go from bummed to waking up to David Tennant LOL You get what I mean right?

Living without regrets is a scary thing. All scary things show us what we are made of though. Life is just simply too short and has no guarantees to live like a coward. To live in the shadows of what ifs, maybes and mired in doubts. Yeah it's scary to live being open to getting your dreams, hopes and everything trampled on but that's how you learn who is there to support you and who is there to drag you down (like the whole crab in the basket syndrome!). It is important to remember that everything is a catalyst though. My pain and disappointment was a catalyst for me to go outside of my comfort zone. To venture to a place I vaguely recalled. I was rewarded. I had fun. There are times where I do get burned but I like adventure ;) So in a way, I don't have time for stuff that ends. I live my life like its an adventure. My name is already in a book called forever. Im just living out the chapters. Because.....after all...

Till next time <3